Among the many stories emerging about Dolly Parton, one small habit shows just how easily kindness can travel.
There are certain aspects of the late, great Dolly Parton that may be difficult to emulate. The voice, obviously. The extraordinary songwriting talent. The hair would require a significant commitment, and few of us could cover ourselves in rhinestones from head to toe and somehow still look every inch a queen.
But amid the many stories being shared since her death, one Dolly habit has emerged that is surprisingly easy to copy: she wrote to people.
Not simply thank-you notes or obligatory Christmas cards, either. Dolly seems to have made a habit of reaching out when she thought somebody might need encouragement, deserved congratulations or had simply touched her in some way. Sometimes, remarkably, she didn't even know them.
One of the most unexpected examples came from the rapper Eminem, whose extraordinary success has been accompanied by some very public struggles. After Dolly's death, he shared a letter she'd sent him following their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2022.
The two had never met. Dolly admitted in the letter that she didn't know much about rap music, but she'd learned enough to know that Eminem was very good at what he did. More importantly, she wanted him to know it too. She encouraged him to keep going and reminded him that he touched people “in ways you don't even know.”
Four years later, Eminem still had the letter. Sharing it after Dolly's death, he said her words had “really had an impact on me,” adding that she simply hadn't needed to take the time to write to him. They weren't friends, they never subsequently met, and there was nothing in it for her. She had simply decided that somebody might appreciate a few words of encouragement.
A habit of encouragement
And Eminem wasn't alone. Reese Witherspoon revealed after Dolly's death that the singer had sent her encouraging notes over the years, often signing them with the rather unbeatable “I will always love you.”
Dolly also seems to have been remarkably good at answering letters. Aaron Crisler was a young performer at Dollywood, working at a Winn-Dixie while trying to build a career in music, when he wrote asking Dolly if she might record a duet with him. It was, by any reasonable measure, a rather ambitious letter to send to one of the biggest stars in the world.
However, Dolly said yes. The pair recorded The Love You Gave together in 2005, and Crisler has since said that her willingness to respond changed the course of his life.
Of course, most letters don't result in a duet with the queen of country. But there's something about an actual letter that makes even a few ordinary words feel different from firing off a heart emoji or typing “Congrats!!!” beneath somebody's social-media post.
Somebody had to think of you. Find the paper. Sit down and decide what they wanted to say. Address an envelope, find a stamp — which may now be the most demanding part of the entire operation — and actually send it.
And what arrives is something tangible, something you can hold onto.
Who might need a letter from you?
And maybe that is the one of the most wonderfully manageable ways of carrying a little of Dolly Parton's spirit into the world.
Think of somebody who's having a difficult time and write to them. Send a note to the teenager who didn't get the exam results they hoped for, the friend who's having a miserable year, the new mother who's exhausted, or the elderly relative who would be delighted to find something among the bills that isn't asking them for money.
And why limit ourselves to people we know well? Write to the teacher who made a difference to your child, the nurse who was particularly kind, an author whose book helped you through something, or someone in your parish who quietly does a job nobody ever seems to notice. You could even write to a complete stranger whose story has moved you. After all, Dolly did.
But don't panic if you're not at Shakespeare's level, or if you have nothing profound to share. Sometimes it's the fact that somebody thought of you at all — and took the trouble to tell you — that stays with you. Eminem has kept Dolly's letter for four years, and perhaps that's proof enough.
The funny thing is, we may never know what becomes of those words once we've sent them. And that's the beauty of such a simple gesture: we have no idea where our words might land, or how long someone might carry them.
The Catholic faith places enormous value on small acts of love, particularly the ones performed without any expectation of getting something back. A letter fits rather beautifully into that category. It costs almost nothing, takes perhaps 10 minutes and may end up meaning far more to its recipient than we could possibly predict.
After all, a message on a screen can disappear beneath 50 others before lunchtime. A letter has a beautiful way of finding its way into a drawer, a box or between the pages of a book, where it might sit for years.
And if Dolly Parton could find time to write an encouraging letter to a rapper she'd never even met, surely the rest of us can find 10 minutes, a piece of paper — and perhaps that elusive stamp.
