“If we are out of our minds, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.” (2 Corinthians 5:13)
Chuck Fuld is a longtime friend in San Diego, who gave me permission to share his story.
Chuck was a seagoing naval officer, married with three young children (the oldest was seven) when his wife Elaine died suddenly in her mid-30s. A devoted husband and father, his sadness and grief would be difficult for anyone to deal with. Elaine had held everything together when he deployed to sea, but he then had to find another way, and his sister-in-law, Gloria, took in his children.
Chuck once missed Christmas with his children and did not return home until April. However, a father is a father, and he was determined to celebrate Christmas with his kids. He strung the house with lights and put up the Christmas tree to decorate. His three kids watched in total disbelief, thinking Dad had lost his mind. After all, who would ever think of celebrating Christmas in April, except for a nutty dad? And they wondered what the neighbors were thinking about their crazy dad and that his children must be crazy, too. They were embarrassed, to say the least, but only until …
The neighbors started stopping by with Christmas presents to put under the tree. With that, the three children realized that Christmas in April was a great idea and that Dad hadn’t lost his mind after all. He had a clever idea all along.
I’m convinced that dads earn their keep when seen as the one who’s losing his mind. When a father has a single-minded desire for what’s good for his family, he usually doesn’t care what others might think. They might feel confused, not understanding what he’s up to, but this can be a way they learn patience, that is, they learn, “Let’s just wait a while to see what he’s up to.”
Fatherhood is about leading one’s children to where they can stand on their own. And for that task, he has a variety of tools in his toolbox to call upon, including catching them a bit off guard before showing them what he’s really up to. “It keeps them on their toes,” he might say. A favorite definition of a leader fits fatherhood well: a leader is one who knows the way, shows the way, goes the way, and then goes away. And it’s there in the contract a father signs when taking on the role.
We all went through our teen years thinking our old man didn’t know what he was doing. Then later, once we started standing on our own feet, we realize he knew what he was doing after all. Chuck’s children might have thought he had lost his mind, but he was preparing them for the larger part of their lives called adulthood.
And his Christmas in April is more than a fun story. It’s the story of a father’s resolve that his children would know joy while still missing their mother.
In time, Chuck retired from the Navy, and the last of his three kids grew up. He then answered God’s call to be a priest and was ordained 40 years ago next month — July 1986. A father of three, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather -- who could lose his mind when the moment called for it. Father Chuck Fuld has served many as a spiritual father, too. Now in his 90s, he still celebrates Sunday Masses and proclaims the Gospel with a lively and heartfelt faith.
And the Apostle Paul got it right when he wrote: “If we are out of our minds, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.”
