Have your kids had the flu this winter? Mine had it last week, and it feels as if all of my friends’ kids had it too (or a stomach bug, or hand-foot-mouth disease, or RSV, or … the list is endless).
While my kids were laid up with fevers, I thought about a few things that helped us get through that rough patch.
The saints have some wisdom for times of sickness, as they do about so many things.
Pulling from my motherly experience and the saints’ advice, here are some commonsense tips for caring for the sick—whether they’re your child, spouse, parent, or friend.
1Stop everything and cancel your plans to care for the sick person
St. Benedict wrote in his famous Rule:
Care of the sick must rank above and before all else, so that they may be truly served as Christ, for he said: “I was sick and you visited me” (Matt 25:36) and “What you did for one of these least brothers you did for me” (Matt. 25:40).
As parents, much of our life is spent teaching our kids to be selfless and to put others before themselves. But when they’re sick, all of that is pushed aside. Instead, this is our chance to model for them what selfless love looks like, as we care for them as we would Christ.
It sounds obvious, but we do need to stop our ordinary life so our child can rest. Cancel plans—yes, even really fun plans that were much anticipated. Don’t even take a sick kid to church. (Care of the sick is a valid reason to miss Mass, although my husband and I usually “split shifts” so we can both go to Mass on Sundays when our kids are sick.)
Spend as much time as you can just sitting with the sick person. For a child, hold them and snuggle them. For a person of any age, your attentive presence is a consolation.
It’s so important to make sure they feel loved and cared for. A sick person should not be ignored or treated like they’re “fine” or forced to push through their illness. They need real rest in order to recover.
When my kids are sick, they call for me constantly. It’s exhausting and a time of “survival mode” when we take advantage of every convenience or shortcut possible. I try to hold onto St. Teresa of Avila’s prayer: “All things are passing: God alone never changes.”
This time will pass, and in a way, it’s a powerful opportunity to really live our vocations as mothers (or fathers, or grandparents). Caring for the sick is a work of mercy. Those who are sick are often forgotten or avoided: Let’s give them our time and attention as we care for them with love.
2Put into place some practical comforts
When my kids are sick, I set aside special activities and comforts to help them through this hard time. Here are a few things we do in our house:
- Make a “cozy nest” on the couch with blankets and pillows so the child can rest while staying close to mom or dad
- Put a box of tissues, a small wastebasket, a water bottle, and a large bowl next to the cozy nest
- If your child has long hair, braid it or pull it back so it doesn’t get tangled from lying on the couch all day (and to keep it out of the way in case of stomach upset)
- Make a special drink that’s just for when they’re sick, such as bone broth, an electrolyte drink, or whatever they prefer (perhaps consult your doctor on best drinks to stay hydrated)
- Stock up on easy-to-eat foods like yogurt, applesauce, and popsicles—foods that won’t hurt a sore throat
- Hot steam helps clear out the nose and throat, so my kids like to take lots of warm baths and showers and sip hot tea when they’re sick, and a humidifier can help too (I credit this advice to St. Benedict too, as he wrote: “The sick may have baths whenever it is advisable”)
3Offer peaceful and restful forms of entertainment
When thinking of how to occupy a sick child, I look for forms of entertainment that won’t prevent them from dozing off and falling asleep, as often happens when they’re sick—and which is so important for their healing.
Instead of TV, which keeps my kids awake, we go for things like audiobooks (my son always listens to Boxcar Children when he’s sick), search-and-find books (my daughter spent a long time with Where’s Waldo and I Spy last week), and comic books (Tintin and Loupio are always favorites).
Small toys, sticker books, and coloring books on the couch are good too. As much as I can, I sit on the couch with them and read aloud … until they inevitably doze off.
And one last thing … Take care of yourself, too!
I know I won’t be of any use to my family if I get sick too. So when my kids are sick, I try to be extra diligent about eating nourishing foods, washing my hands, and drinking plenty of fluids. Sickness is a really hard time in any home, and we caregivers have to take care of our own health too.
One last piece of saintly advice when you’re caring for the sick? St. Gianna Molla once said, “One earns paradise with one’s daily task.” This time of sickness is really hard and trying, but our loving care and sacrifices will always be worth it.
