A kiss isn’t just a romantic gesture; it can be a sign of healing, reconciliation, and love. That’s the way kisses are represented in the Bible.
Kisses are powerful things. Dr. John Gottman, a well-known relationship researcher, claims that a prolonged, six-second kiss can actually improve the quality of a marriage. What's more, according to some studies, kissing regularly can extend your life by up to five years.
In fact, some languages reflect depth of meaning. In English, “kiss” comes from Old English “cyssan,” “to touch with the lips (in respect, reverence, etc.).” In Polish, “pocałunek”—kiss—is etymologically connected with the idea of wholeness and healing. Similarly, in Russian, the word “целовать” comes from целый—“whole,” “intact.”
Something of this association is also present emotionally, if not always etymologically, in other countries as well. When we kiss someone, we symbolically restore them to health, warmth, and life. We see it in fairy tales, where a kiss can awaken a cursed princess. Kissing someone can also mean reconciling with them. And when a child bruises their elbow or knee, they run to their mother to kiss the sore spot.
“Greet one another with a holy kiss”
The Bible is not afraid to talk about kisses. It doesn’t present them as reserved exclusively for romantic relationships, but as an expression of love, gratitude, and bonding—between family members, friends, disciples, and even prophets.
St. Paul encourages us five times: “Greet one another with a holy kiss” (see Romans 16:16, for example). In the Book of Genesis, we read about Laban kissing his daughters and grandchildren, blessing them before parting. The touching scene of Naomi's farewell to Ruth and Orpah also takes place with kisses and tears. Even Moses and Aaron greet each other with a kiss on their way to Egypt.
And although it’s a gesture of affection, it’s also a sign of blessing, prayer, and spiritual presence.
A kiss hurts, but it also heals
The Bible also shows the other side of the coin. It’s with a kiss that Judas betrays his Teacher. But it’s this betrayal that becomes the gateway to the greatest healing: to Salvation.
Jesus, who is betrayed by a kiss, is also “kissed” by the Father through the resurrection. The psalmist prophetically writes: “Steadfast love and faithfulness will meet; righteousness and peace will kiss each other.” (Ps 85:10). A kiss can therefore be both a sign of betrayal and a symbol of ultimate reconciliation.
When was the last time you kissed your spouse?
As we know from Dr. Gottman's advice, a daily kiss that is slightly longer than the usual peck works wonders for a healthy marriage. So maybe it's worth greeting your husband or wife every day with a sincere, deep kiss! Not a symbolic peck, but a gesture full of love.
A priest I know said that during a retreat he encouraged married couples to do this, and after a few weeks he received an email from one of the participants: “I started kissing my husband every morning and evening—and something changed. He started listening to me!”
A kiss shows who is really important to us. A daily gesture of affection between spouses becomes a sign of security and love for children as well. A child who sees their parents kissing lovingly feels more loved and secure.
Kisses for children
Every parent knows how much we’re drawn to kiss a baby on the head, foot, or hand. Children often demand kisses. A family life full of kisses teaches us that we show love through actions and specific gestures.
And although teenagers often act shy (after all, they are almost adults), they also accept a loving kiss that reminds them that they are loved, and are always welcome. Perhaps it’s these kisses at home that will protect them from blindly seeking love where it’s easy to get hurt.
What kind of kiss, for whom?
Not every kiss means the same thing. This also needs to be taught. A romantic kiss is for a husband or wife. A friendly kiss, for loved ones, children, family. In some places there’s still a beautiful custom of kissing a woman's hand or a bishop's ring as a sign of respect. We kiss relics, crucifixes, and even the hands of a newly ordained priest. And in some countries (famously in some parts of Europe), when greeting friends or even making new acquaintances, people kiss each other on the cheek.
Children and young people must, of course, be taught that not every kiss is safe. A kiss isn’t a game or form of emotional manipulation. We shouldn’t accept a kiss from just anyone (or force a child to give or accept a kiss against their will), and in our culture, a kiss on the lips is reserved for romantic relationships.
“Greet one another with a holy kiss”—this isn’t just a metaphor
Christianity doesn’t cut itself off from the body, gestures, and feelings. On the contrary, it expresses spiritual realities through the body. A kiss can convey love, peace, and blessing. It is an everyday “sacrament” of relationships.
